Debunking Nanny Myths

Common Myths that Parents Have About What Nannies Provide.

While many of my clients come to the nanny experience knowing what their needs are, in reality, it's without a full understanding of a nanny's role and responsibilities. I've found that there are certain "expectations" or what I refer to in this blog as "myths". As nothing exists until there's a clear understanding between you and a potential Nanny-

I hope to shed light on establishing the importance of communicating what your needs are for your children as a family in your household.

Communication is essential during the hiring phase. Common assumptions can bring disappointment after you hire the nanny. Clarity in your expectations of the Nanny's role and what her responsibilities will be, And the Nanny agreeing- can help ensure that you're in alignment and avoid the merry-go-round of caregivers for your child(ren).

• Myth #1. Nannies are just babysitters: My retort has been, "I've never sat on a baby!". While both roles involve caring for children, nannies typically have a deeper level of involvement and professional training to ensure their influence in a child's life is on an appropriate developmental level, handling tasks related to the child's development, education, and overall well-being, beyond just basic supervision.
  

• Myth #2. Nannies are always available at short notice, or won't mind staying late: Many parents assume that nannies have flexible personal life schedules and can be available whenever parents need them. On hiring, you and your nanny should have set working days and hours, and if flexibility is needed. Even if flexibility is understood when hired, your nanny will still need advance notice for any changes to the schedule.
  

• Myth #3. Nannies only do childcare: In addition to caring for children, nannies are also be responsible for tasks related to the children, such as meal preparation, the child's laundry, organizing and sanitizing toys, and keeping their bedrooms and playrooms clean and tidy. Most times light housekeeping is also included for common areas, keeping the kitchen clean and sweeping the floor. However, your nanny should not be expected to take on the full responsibilities of a housekeeper or personal assistant. Unless they're hired for the role of nanny/housekeeper, house manager or personal assistant, with the pay rate factored into their salary for these added responsibilities.
  

• Myth #4. All Nannies are the same: In interviewing, I've heard many times- my previous nanny did this... The truth is, Each nanny brings their own unique skills, experiences, and personality to the job. It's essential for parents to find a nanny who is the right fit for their family's specific needs and values. Don't expect that a new nanny will do what the old nanny did.
  

• Myth #5. Nannies are solely responsible for disciplining children: While nannies do play an important role in guiding behavior, reinforcing manners, and promoting conscious discipline, it's important to emphasize that effective discipline requires collaborative effort. A Nanny is in partnership with the parents and collaboration is essential to establishing consistent boundaries and expectations that contribute to the best outcomes for children.
  

• Myth #4. "If we're paying her, she'll do whatever we ask" Some parents think that because they're paying a nanny her salary, they're entitled to ask anything of her. I've had parents who are running their nanny ragged, say, "I don't care if she's tired after an outing, or after a day in the sun at the playground, or after pool time... I'm paying her to watch my kids!". Not considering the high energy level it takes to care for children, and understanding there needs to be a down time, is plainly taking advantage of your nanny. It leads to safety issues. If you stretch your nanny to her limit and assign more work without a balance, she is going to end up quitting, and no one wins. - There are some things that parents have a right to expect from a nanny:

• To be warm and understanding even under pressure,

• to respect the agreement of employment,

• to be devoted in caring for all of your charge's physical, developmental, and emotional needs.

• Light housekeeping is just that: cleaning up the area in which your child played in. Straightening up the kitchen, loading and unloading the dishwasher, sweeping the kitchen floor. In most cases, your child's laundry is also included- Not the whole family's.

• Unless it’s discussed ahead of time And your nanny is in agreement- understand, assuming your nanny will do anything which is not immediately related to your child, should not be expected.

• Expanding responsibilities (job creep) needs to be properly compensated.

• Issues don't disappear with a replacement. Saying, "No" to an employer is uncomfortable- and is considered exploitation. Not only is this illegal, it’s immoral and needs to stop.  
  

Reasons Why Nannies Feel Taken Advantage of

“Light Housework” isn’t housework to be done during your child’s nap. Expecting a nanny to take on additional household chores which are not related to the nanny’s time spent with your child, as in preparing meals for the entire family, or doing the family's laundry or ironing- is over the scope of a nanny’s duties.

A morning or afternoon providing your child with care, activities, meals and cleaning up, then comes with a settling down for your child's nap. This is now your nanny's break time! Your Nanny shouldn't be made to feel guilty, as she been given a list of things to do when your child is sleeping. Not acceptable-

Nannies spend a lot of time on their feet and require breaks during your child's down time in order to continue performing their job duties throughout the day.

Being a nanny is every bit as challenging and exhausting and constant as being a parent

Sleep Training, Conscious Discipline or other specific Disciplines', Cooking Family Meals or House Cleaning, are outside the scope of a Nanny. Unless she has initially signed on with those agreements or trainings- they are an investment in time and finances. Contact other professionals to fulfil those needs.

Being responsible for messes which didn't happen on her watch: there may be occasion when a nanny will help, but in no way should this be an accepted practice.

Working past agreed hours, especially without compensation. Not acceptable!

Asking your nanny to be your dog walker. Absolutely Not Acceptable!!